Are you called to the monastic life?
 The Holy Fathers, especially St. John Cassian, tell us that there are three main ways that people are called to the monastic life: directly by God, by other people, and by circumstances. All three are legitimate, but the first is the strongest sense of a vocation to monasticism.
 There are several signs of this vocation. First, one may have a sense of God's calling, a burning desire to live a life entirely devoted to God as a monastic. Or one may have a profound sense of the utter vanity of this world, and that while able to do anything, the world holds nothing for oneself. Another is that all doors but monasticism close, and one feels compelled to embrace it.
 No one can run away from his problems by going to a monastery. Rather, in the quiet and undistracted life of the monastery, all problems come into agonizing focus so that they can be dealt with. Every passion, every habit, and every sin will become absolutely apparent. We join a monastery to repent: not to somehow try to make up for our sins, but to turn to God knowing our weakness and embrace a whole new lifestyle. Monastic life is not a life lived without responsibility. Rather, it is an empowering to fully accept responsibility for our life, to face one's issues, and to be healed.
 The older one is the harder it is to enter true monastic life. The best time is before the age of 25, while still young and strong, and before one is too corrupted by the world. After 25 our identities are solid, and our habits and will are strongly entrenched. That does not mean it's impossible, just hard.
 The disciplines of obedience and self-denial are the real challenge. Obedience means to "listen thoroughly." One embraces obedience on one hand, as an act of love and respect, and on the other as a means of self-denial. Our faith in God, in our spiritual father, and just about everything are tried and tested as we embrace radical repentance. We are barraged by thoughts, images, and sensations of past sins and desires, and the longing for worldly consolation.
 The demon of despondency drags us into depression, and the demon of vainglory into self-exaltation. We have to steer clear of both. The goal of this, though, is to tame our will and bring us to authentic humility, an honest evaluation of ourselves, and a comprehension of our faults and proclivities. Then we can begin to strive towards freedom from bondage to our old man, our ego.
 Life in community is the crucible that burns away our self-centeredness. Constant interaction purges us from our selfishness and makes us face ourselves. Our vocation is to love God and our neighbor, and it is only by freeing ourselves from bondage to our passions, fallenness, and egocentrism, that we can do this. The fundamental values of our life (poverty, chastity, obedience and stability, for the sake of Christ) give us the context to work out our salvation. They are our support as we try to enter into authentic relationships in the intimacy of community, as we grow and are healed. Each aspect of the monastic life is directed at enabling one to grow to spiritual, emotional, and psychological maturity, in union with one another and in Christ. The key to discerning one's place is to find one's spiritual father, or spiritual mother, and to enter into a relationship of discipleship in mutual love and respect. This relationship is the context for obedience, and the process of our sanctification.
Hieromonk Jonah (Paffhausen)
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